The Goop Lab, Episode #3 Warning: This episode Not appropriate for anyone under the age of 40! And even then…

So, this episode is all about women’s privates. They bring in Betty Dodson, who schools us that a vagina is only the birth canal, and the vulva is all the fun stuff on the outside and that is what Betty is here to explore. Gwynnie and Elise vow to change their vocab to vulva henceforth. Gwyneth asks what happens in one of Betty’s classes, and Betty responds “Everyone gets off.” There’s another woman with Betty who let’s us know that when you come to a session, she answers the door naked, because she wants everyone to know she’s vulnerable, and then you come in and get naked because you have to be vulnerable, too.

Gwyneth then starts giggling that they will all be naked and says that she doesn’t know if she can do it.  The lady then quickly responds that there is “no judgment”in the classes, which causes Gwyn to change her tune. Gwyn profoundly says, “Shame stops us from doing a lot of things.” Mmm, is it shame? Or just common decency? I just don’t go around exposing my lady garden to the world. It’s just a line in the sand that I’ve drawn, you know?

A group of women is talking about how they don’t discuss their sexual preferences with their friends and how confining that is. This makes me giggle. Who talks about their sex life with other people?  These people need to get a job. There are other things to talk about besides your tinkle.  And your partner’s tinkle. Come on! Now they’re taking sensual self-portraits. One woman is holding two melons in front of her bosoms. Sort of redundant, right?

We’re back with Gwyneth and Betty and some other lady and they’re beginning to talk about genital shame. Where is Cersei Lannister when you need her, right? The lady with Betty relates stories of women who are so ashamed of their hoo-has that they are having their labia cut in order to look like teenage girls. Oh people, I can hardly listen to this. What in the world? I’ll be honest, if I saw my labia in a lineup, I could not identify them. I just assume they are normal and go on with my life. Folks, DO NOT WATCH THIS SHOW WITH CHILDREN. They started parading pictures of privates and I covered my face and started GAGGING. These were EXTREME closeups. I cannot un-see this.

Friends, you are just going to have to watch this yourself, although I do NOT encourage it. I can’t watch anymore. Let me state, I am not ashamed of being a woman or anything going on down in my private area. I just think that everything in the world does not need to be shared, unlike Gwynnie and the Goop group who have NO secrets. Watch if you must. Bobs out.

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